Text funny - Analyzing women

1 to 5 years: The woman does not have the slightest idea of what it is.
5 to 10 years: You know that is different from boys, but does not understand why.
10 to 15 years: You know exactly why it is different and has begun to take advantage of it.
25 to 30 years: During this phase are 5 distinct groups:

G1-those married for money
The G2-who married for love
The G3-than married
The G4, which just married
The smart-G5

G1: discover that money is not everything in life, feel a lack of passion.
G2: find that passion is not everything in life, feel lack of money.
G3: no matter the money and passion, feel it is lack of a man.
G4: do not understand why married.
G5: Tuesday discover that intelligence is not everything in life.

30 to 35 years: You know exactly where mistakes and dyeing his hair from blond. Go to college.
35 to 40 years: Looking spiritual help.
40 to 45 years: Leave the help and spiritual seeking medical help, with analysts and plastic surgeons.
45 to 50 years: Thanks for your butt and belly surgeons returned to normal, their breasts were better than they were a passion and explodes on her analyst.
After the 50 years: Finally you discover, if accepted, and begins to live!

Petroleum Price Increase in Ecuador

With the oil stabilized between $ 80 and $ 90 is more than enough for the project "socialist Venezuela, said Chavez during the inspection of the construction of a rail system in central-north of the country.

The Venezuelan oil fell U.S. $ 13.78 this week and closed with an average price of $ 68, marked by international concern of a "slowdown of world oil demand before the prospects of a global recession," says the Ministry of Energy and Oil of Venezuela (MEP).

In the 2009 national budget, which must be approved by Parliament, the price of a barrel of oil was estimated at $ 60, well above the $ 35 planned for 2008 and lower than the average price of $ 100.19 recorded in that years the basket of Venezuelan oil.

Chavez also said that Venezuela "is (ready) to pay any price of oil" because his government managed to capitalize on numerous international reserves and resources binational funds. "Only in international reserves have $ 40 billion, and bilateral funds with China and Russia have another $ 40 billion," added the president of Venezuela.

After controversy, Iraqi dog adopted by U.S. military reaches the U.S.

The puppy Iraqi Ratchet reached this Monday (20) to the United States after a great controversy about his trip to the country. Gwen Beberg adopted by the military, which feared that if he were killed it in Iraq, he will now find a new home in the American state of Minnesota.



Ratchet arrived at Dulles Airport in Chantilly, Virginia, and must spend two days in a kennel before leaving for his new home in Minneapolis.

Bovespa rises 8.36% in days of optimism in the markets

In a day of unusual quiet in the markets in recent weeks, the Bolsa de Valores de Sao Paulo (Bovespa) closed the trading session this Monday (20) with strong high. Tracking the movement of foreign grants, the Ibovespa, the main indicator of the Sao Paulo stock exchange, had recovery of 8.36% at 39,441 points - reaching the highest level since last Tuesday when close to 41,569 points.



With the outcome of this second, the Ibovespa's losses since the beginning of the year was reduced to 38.26% - on Friday, the losses reached 43%.

Fall in the network pictures of Kirsten Dunst drunk in nightclub

Fell on the network this Tuesday, 13, photos of actress Kirsten Dunst during a ballad on the last day 7 in Los Angeles. The blonde, who plays the role of Mary Jane, from "Spider-Man" appears in pictures at the club La Poubelle (The trash, in French) visibly changed with some friends.

Daughter of Madonna already knows playing the piano

In celebration of the 50th anniversary of Madonna, the singer's daughter, Lourdes Maria, decided to surprise her mother and all invited to play the piano a piece of theme music of Fame.

Madonna celebrated the 50th anniversary in the English club "Volstead", a luxurious night in the home district of Mayfair, central region of London in the company of 90 guests.

The children of pop star could not miss. In addition to Lourdes, the small Rocco and David Banda were also present at the celebration. Among the famous personalities considered close to Madonna, Gwyneth Paltrow and Stella McCartney were the most noticed absences.

"It's a pity that the absence of certain people, but thank those who came and who have made it all happen. While I can not believe that reached the mark of half a century of life. It is something that occurs only once and I am happy for share it with you, "said Madonna during the festival.

The luxurious feast was organized by her husband of Madonna, Guy Ritchie, and cost about 127 thousand euros.

The behavior of celebrities may end up with contracts millionaires

The famous luxury house of Christian Dior is the latest company to have learned its lesson, having signed away from Sharon Stone as the face for its line of skin care products in China, after the actress Tuesday publicly declared that the devastating earthquake was result of "bad karma" from the country's sad record on human rights in Tibet.

Of course, Stone is not alone. For every Tiger Woods, a Kobe Bryant. In the wake of allegations that the basketball star of the Los Angeles Lakers had violated a young man of 19 years, its image has been withdrawn from major campaigns McDonald's and nutella. The Nike retained the contract with Kobe, but began to use it less. The charges were eventually withdrawn.

The supermodel Kate Moss lost advertising campaigns with H & M, Burberry and Chanel after the British tabloids have reported in the autumn of 2005 she allegedly consumed cocaine. Since then, Kate Moss and reconquered recovered an impressive array of advertising contracts, including one with Burberry. Bryant and Moss recovered fairly quickly, but the lessons are.

Regardless of how ideal it may seem an advertising contract with a celebrity for a specific brand, nobody can predict what can happen then.

At a time when we live in a culture based on celebrities, it is difficult to find a launch of a new product that does not have a great name attached to them. All people want to be like the beautiful people, doing what they do and wear what they wear. But where there are opportunities, the danger also watching.

"The truth is that all people say and do stupid things," states Noreen JENNEY, president of Celebrity Endorsement Network based in Los Angeles. What is wrong with celebrities is that the news flow quickly. "Mal just say one thing and now walks through the mouths of the world. It's not that they do something that the rest of the world do not, what happens is that when they say something, the world is listening to."

Given this scenario, Dior's contract with Sharon Stone concluded in the autumn of 2005 seemed the perfect marriage. Still sexy at 47 years, Stone was an ideal model for the Capture line of anti-aging cream company.

Claude Martinez, President and CEO of Parfums Christian Dior, told Vogue at that time that "Sharon Stone was chosen by the charm which have spread worldwide as a slim and attractive women in their 40, who is intelligent and independent."

Maybe too smart and independent. Dior had to go the way of damage control after the comments from Stone at the Cannes Film Festival, issuing an apology and withdraw it immediately from their ads in China.

The Chinese authorities said they will ban all her films in the country, and posters with his picture were allegedly torn from citizens in fury. Ironically, Stone has just reported that it will buy a house in the Chinese Riviera with her boyfriend who will serve as a basis for their journeys around the world. "

The frankness of celebrities in advertising contracts have a disadvantage in relation to finance. The Dixie Chicks learned that lesson five years ago when the popular country music band has a large decline in sales of albums and tickets for the concert after one of them have told a London audience shortly after the start of the war in Iraq, which were "ashamed" by President Bush be originating from your home state, the Texas.

The sponsor of his tour, the Lipton, withdrew a television ad that had planned and dropped the plans he had to use the images of the band in bags of rice, although the company has continued to give his name to the tour.

"Nobody wants to see his name tarnished with the brushstrokes of political celebrities," says Robert Passikoff, president of BrandKeys, a firm assessment of marks, with regard to the problems of Dior with Sharon Stone. "Especially when the position can not be defended." The lessons for marketers: Buyer, beware.

For the guys in advertising contracts, Michael Jordan is more a lesson. At any one time asked him why they avoided supporting a Democratic candidate for the Senate who tried to rob the place the Conservative Jesse Helms in North Carolina, and he gave an answer that has become famous "the Republicans also buy tennis."

Eddie Murphy back with Police Hunt IV

Inspired by the success of "Indiana Jones", the Paramount will produce the fourth episode of "Police Hunt ', which means the return of Eddie Murphy in the role of detective Axel Foley, according to Variety magazine.
The American studios announced that production at the expense of the popular Jerry Bruckheimer, will begin next year, and the sequel should come to cinema-goers in the summer of 2010.

The only confirmed presence in the cast is even Eddie Murphy, who repeats the role of protagonist. Brett Ratner, who is currently preparing a biography of Hugh Hefner, is in negotiations for the achievement and still no details on the scriptwriter.

The trilogy of "Police Hunt 'has become one of the most profitable movie in the 80s, and its first chapter, in 1984, yielded more than 316 million dollars (around EUR 203 million).

Eddie Murphy was distinguished this year, the Razzies, in three categories, including Worst Actor, Worst actress Secondary and Secondary Worst Actor, for his roles in "Norbit", which remained leader of ticketing during its passage through Portugal and invoiced 158 millions of dollars in the U.S.

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Treat the Drugs and Alcohol efficiently

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Hamilton wide in front in the GP of Australia

Lewis Hamilton will drop in the pole position of the GP of Australia, the first phase of the World Formula 1 2008. The English of McLaren outperforms Polish Robert Kubica, with the surprising BMW Sauber, by 0s155, after doing an excellent final round in the training classification. Heikki Kovalainen has the third time, followed by Felipe Massa, the Ferrari.

The German Nick Heidfeld, companion of Robert Kubica at the BMW Sauber, was the fifth and divides the third row with Italian Jarno Trulli, Toyota. Nico Rosberg, Williams, marked the seventh time, followed by Scot David Coulthard. Sebastian Vettel complete list of the first nine placed on the grid of departure.

Timo Glock, Toyota, which had marked the ninth time in the session, had to replace the box exchange. The play has to last for four races, according to the new rules of Formula 1 and the German driver will lose five positions on the grid. He validation drop now in 14 th place.

The Rede Globo transmits the GP of Australia in the early hours of Saturday to Sunday, the 1h30m (time of Brasilia). The Real-time GLOBOESPORTE.COM accompanies the race from 1am.

Junk reveals new purchases of Amy Winehouse

A new bed, a unit LCD TV, a microwave oven and many pieces of clothing. The garbage accumulated on the door of the house, Amy Winehouse in the north of London reveals much of what the singer English has acquired in recent weeks.

The newspaper "Daily Mail" this Tuesday, 11, brings a record of all the debris that is in front of the house Amy Winehouse in Candem Town, in the north of London.


The singer was flagrada leaving for home this morning after making a good cleaning in-custody clothing. Many of the pieces with which English was photographed in the mountains that are awaiting the truck the cleaning of the city.

Meet the small Amy Winehouse

Reminds of the mini-Britney? And the mini-Kevin Federline? He had until Michael Jackson in miniature version doing more concerts than the original version. Well, the wave of hype dwarfs that turned imitating singers, we can say, decadent, here comes that a new sósia. Even more trash that other imitators, "La Pequena Amy Winehousebuscar 'appeared on the internet with a video at home and Youtube.



Enter one dancinha and another, Amy, all tatuada and with the characteristic hair, loose pearls in Spanish as' Soy la pequeña Amy Winehouse. Me encanta las drogas. Me encanta los vices. " We turned hit.

Amy Winehouse go by taxi, but forget the money

Amy Winehousebuscar gave work to a taxi driver in London Sunday, 9. After a short run of a convenience store to your home, in the north of London, she gave that account had not money to pay the race.



The driver then waited several long minutes until that Amy vasculhasse his home in search of some pounds.



How did not find enough to pay the driver, Amy Winehouse had to appeal to the paparazzi that accompanied the scene from a convenience store. A photographer paid by race and Amy can breathe alilviada.


FINANCE

Last year, Janis Winehouse care of the finances of the child and offered him only 300 pounds per week, a tentative Amy rid of the drugs. It is uncertain whether the matriarca still controls the money of the singer, but it is a fact that Amy continues with empty pockets out of the house.

Maradona attacks from singer in Buenos Aires

The ex-player Diego Maradona made a duo with the interpreter Mexican Marco Antonio Solis for a show this Saturday at Luna Park stadium in Buenos Aires. Around 7 thousand spectators ovacionaram and gritaram "olé, olé, olé, Diego, Diego," when the artist invited to climb on stage and sing "Si no te hubieras gone." The show ended in the early hours of Sunday in the mythical stage, which Maradona was accompanied by his girlfriend Verónica and several members of his family.

-- Thank you for this opportunity to sing in Buenos Aires. I want to thank the presence of a figure recognized around the world and that is characterized by their humility and singeleza - said the Mexican artist amid his concert.

-- I am proud soul in the presence of Diego Armando Maradona - added, in which time the public exploded in applause and screams.

Almost at the end of the show, Solís invited Maradona to the stage and then to embrace, the player presented with a selection of Argentine shirt. Once the show Maradona said, "when I went to Mexico wanted to meet him, but never succeeded."

Dolphins receive care after bogged on the coasts of the United States

Group of four animals was stranded on the beach Virginia, on the east coast of the country.
Last week, seven dolphins have already been "lost"; causes are unknown.

Four dolphins that encalharam in Mill Creek Point on the coast of the American state of Virginia, are having VIP treatment to return to the ocean with good health. The animals received warm clothes brought by the Encalhamentos Support Team and the Aquarium of Virginia. Experts of the aquarium American attempt to keep marine mammals protected and hydrated while not full tide returns. Seven encalharam animals in the region last week, for reasons that have not yet been clarified.

Abdomen highlight of Britney increases speculation about pregnancy

In recent weeks, the American press has disclosed that Spearsbuscar Britney is pregnant again. The visit to the doctor, this Tuesday, 3, and flagra of its physical form, this Thursday, 6, reinforced the hypothesis. She was fotograda shopping in a store in Hollywood, with a belly quite visible.

Despite the improvement of their state of health, he will continue under the tutelage of her father, Jamie Spears, until July. He has control of the popstar fortune, estimated at $ 100 million, restricted visits of friends and negotiates contracts on behalf of the singer.



With information from the site "Daily Mail".

Bush announces support for the McCain campaign for the Presidency

The senator won the delegates to be the Republican candidate for President.
President says McCain has' strength and character 'to be president.

The President George W. Bush formally announced its support for the candidacy of Republican Senator John McCain to sucedê him in the White House, this Wednesday (5), one day after the victory of the pre-candidate in pre held in four states.



McCain already is considered the candidate to the presidency of the party for having won more than the 1,191 delegates needed to become the official candidate in the Republican convention.

Find the best schools of fashion in new york

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Research indicates advantage of Hillary in Texas and tie in Ohio

The latest research published on the day of the vote prior to the North American this Tuesday suggests that Hillary Clinton goes ahead of Barack Obama in Texas, and is empatada with him in Ohio.

According to the study done by Reuters, C-SPAN and Houston Chronicle, the senator leads by 47% to 44% in Texas, reversing the advantage of 3 points that had Obama on Monday.

In Ohio, the research institute of Zogby International indicates tie at 44%. On the eve, Obama led by 2 percentage points. In both cases, sets up technical tie, since the margin of error is 3.4 percentage points.


Hillary needs significant victories in these two states to keep the chances of being indicated Democrat candidate for the White House. Obama comes from 11 consecutive wins in the previous election of the party.

Colombia says Venezuela and Ecuador have relations with the Farc

The Colombian government announced this Monday that will lead to knowledge of the UN (United Nations Organisation) and the OAS (Organization of American States) "revelations about the terrorist group Farc agreements with the governments of Ecuador and Venezuela. Too reported that not mobilize troops to the border.

The evidence, according to Colombia, two documents were found on the computer of the leader of the Farc, Raul Reyes, whose death at the end of last week triggered the conflict in South America These documents comprovariam, yet according to the Colombian government, which the Ecuadorian Minister of Security, Gustavo Larrea, visited Reyes in January on behalf of the President of his country, Rafael Correa.

The Colombian president issued the fac-símiles of two letters in which Reyes tells other members of the dome of the Farc on the meetings with Larrea, one on February 18 and the second on 28 of the same month, one day before his death in a attack of Colombian troops in Ecuadorian territory.

"We were visited by the security minister of Ecuador, Gustavo Larrea, from now on treated as' Juan ', which on behalf of the President Manuel Correa welcomed the comrade" - read in the first text.

Hillary counter-attacks and supports up to the twin TV

The competition outside of the rallies and debates remains high among pre-candidate Democrats.

Hillary Clinton lost no time after seeing the rival Barack Obama appear in entertainment magazines citing to the daughters and Britney Spears (click here to review).

On the night of Saturday, the senator for New York gave the guys in the traditional program of American humor "Saturday Night Live".

Displaying always a smile, Hillary was beside a sósia, which imitated all (three) guys that it is always that at some stage discursando in the United States. A 'clone' was the actress Amy Poehler (not be confused, in the photo beside it appears left…).

'I am not a hero,' says prince after returning from Afghanistan

(Photo Circulation in Battle)

Harry said that "the real heroes" were the wounded who came with him on the plane.
Prince said that I would have been until the end of the mission, in April.

"Do not say that I am a hero," said the Prince Harry to return this Saturday to the UK after ten-week mission in Afghanistan next to British soldiers. "(..) There are thousands and thousands of soldiers there, "said the prince in an interview granted to the press shortly after getting off the plane.

Spice Girls are redundant in stages

The Spice Girlsbuscar Victoria Beckhambuscar, Melanie Brownbuscar, Melanie Chisholmbuscar, Geri Halliwellbuscar and Emma Buntonbuscar did the last show of the tour "Return Of The Spice Girls Tour" on Tuesday night that, 26, in Toronto, Canada.



The performance was marked by great emotion and ended in a big hug on top of the stage.



Victoria Beckham was in one of the high points of the night. With a micro black dress and a half-pants, the wife of the player David Beckhambuscar drop sensuality so provocative dancing with a dancer in the group

Lindsay Lohan photograph next to characters

After shooting as Marilyn Monroe in an essay for the magazine 'New York Magazine', Lindsay Lohan is back to the pages of a publication North American, scheduled to reach the bunker in the month of March.

The actress participated in a session of photos for the magazine 'Harper's Bazaar' and appears next to the super-heroes such as Spider-Man, Batman and Cat-Women. During the photos that were made in the Polo Lounge at a hotel in Beverly Hills, Lohan incarnated a heroine who fight against crime in the name of labels like Dior, Versace and Armani.

Besides the pictures, the publication brings still a matter exclusively with the actress. Lindsay, who was recently admitted to a rehabilitation clinic in Utah in the United States - the same as Kirsten Dunst -, said that despite treatment, can not get rid of the cigarette addiction. 'I always feel I need a cigarette and a coffee. But I am trying to smoke less, 'he said. Since it is internou in clinical Cirque Lodge to get rid of the excessive consumption of alcohol and other illicit substances, Lohan suffers constantly with the harassment of the press.

'I like to be free to have a relationship with someone who is not exposed because it is very personal. The cameras are always there, and things are always registering negative. One false step in now and think you are bêbada. "

The actress, who is assumed to badalações fan, confessed that at one stage more homely. 'I still young. I love life. I love the people and I am a very social. But we also love staying at home, quiet as a normal person. "